It's been forever since I've been here.  Been busy journaling on hard paper.  Assignments for therapy.  B had a relapse.  It was over Easter weekend.  GRRRRRRRR.  I just had a feeling deep down in my bones that something was amiss.  But I turned it over to my Higher Power.  He took care of B in his time of need.  He started drinking at 5.  Was sufficiently drunk and feeling guilty by 9.  Trip and conked his noodle really good on a bed side table and gave himself a concussion that lasted a week.  Almost needed stitches.  He was back in the Treatment Center by 11 pm.  6 hours.  Not bad.  3 others from his group also had a relapse that weekend.  The last one finally came back 4 days later.  

He had to spend 3 days in intensive therapy again discussing the relapse and triggers.  I spent a week being pissed at him.  All of the usual complaints from him led up to the relapse.  It was a holiday, he was alone.  It was our oldests birthday, he was alone.  He had money in his pocket, he was alone.  He was stressed, he was alone.  Hmmm I think I see a pattern there.  He wasn't supposed to be alone.  He had a dinner party to attend.  Only good thing that came out of it is it really woke him up to the fact that it will be a daily battle for him.  And that he needs to work harder and depend on his higher power to help him fight the battle.

The girls are good.  We've had the battle of colds again.  Youngest had tubes placed in her ears again.  Has done wonders for the ear infections.  She has a doozy of a cold right now but the fluid is draining and not building up behind the eardrum.  Speech has taken off again also.  Although it's still hard to understand her when she whines.

B has been moved to the halfway house and we've started marriage counseling.  Not sure of the outcome but we're working on it.  I'm not asking for much.  Stay sober, keep a job, be able to take care of yourself.  He wants those things too.  So maybe down the road somewhere it will work out.  If nothing else we're learning who we are.  Me?  I'm a very emotional being.  My emotions drive me.  Stress gets my emotions going and from there it goes downhill.  I'm learning to see the downhill slide earlier so I can back up and take care of myself and reduce the stress.  Hard but doable.  Only one major slide down to the chaotic - I'm pissed at you so I'm going to lash out at you incorrectly - area.

That's not to bad.  And I only stayed there for 3 days.  Instead of weeks.  Improvement I'd say.  Not quite an A grade yet but getting there.  And with help from my Higher Power and handing over to Him things which I couldn't deal with has been a sturdy rock to keep me on firm ground.